Book Recommendations

I often get asked for book recommendations to support the work we’re doing in therapy. These are resources I trust and frequently suggest to clients. You don’t need to read all of them—start with the one that feels most relevant to where you are right now. If you’re not sure where to start, I’m happy to recommend a book based on your specific situation.

Trauma, Shame, &
Attachment

These books help you understand how your story, your relationships, and your nervous system are all connected.

  • The Origins of You — Vienna Pharaon. A great place to begin if you want to understand how your past is shaping your present relationships.

    Attached — Amir Levine & Rachel Heller. A clear, approachable introduction to attachment styles and how they show up in relationships.

    The Soul of Shame — Curt Thompson. A powerful exploration of shame, connection, and the importance of being truly seen.

  • The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk. A groundbreaking look at how trauma lives in the body and what it takes to heal.

    Waking the Tiger — Peter Levine. Explores the body's natural capacity to heal from trauma through somatic awareness.

    Trauma and the Body — Pat Ogden. A body-centered approach to understanding and treating trauma at its roots.

    Healing Your Attachment Wounds — Diane Poole Heller. A guide to identifying your attachment style and healing the wounds that have shaped your relationships.

    The Power of Attachment — Diane Poole Heller. Explores how secure attachment can be developed and strengthened at any stage of life.

    Healing Trauma — Peter Levine. A practical introduction to somatic experiencing as a path toward trauma recovery.

  • The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy — Louis Cozolino. A research-based look at how therapy changes the brain and supports lasting healing.

Internal Family Systems
(Parts Work)

These books help you understand the different “parts” of you and how to relate to them with curiosity and compassion.

  • No Bad Parts — Richard Schwartz. An accessible introduction to IFS, offering a compassionate framework for understanding every part of who you are.

  • Self-Therapy — Jay Earley. A practical, step-by-step guide to using IFS on your own for personal growth and healing.

    You Are the One You've Been Waiting For — Richard Schwartz. Applies IFS to intimate relationships, exploring how to bring your whole self to love.

    Intimacy from the Inside Out — Toni Herbine-Blank & Martha Sweezy. Explores how IFS can transform couples therapy and deepen connection in relationships.

  • Altogether You — Jenna Riemersma. Integrates IFS with a Christian framework, exploring how faith and parts work support healing together.

    Boundaries for Your Soul — Alison Cook & Kimberly Miller. Combines IFS and Scripture to help you relate to your inner world with grace and clarity.

    I Shouldn't Feel This Way — Alison Cook. Helps you navigate the tension between your faith and your feelings with honesty and compassion.

  • Polly and Her Parts — Betsy & Laurie Myers. A child-friendly introduction to the idea that all of our feelings have a purpose and deserve to be heard.

Family Systems

These books help you understand how your family shaped you—and how to stay connected without losing yourself.

  • Growing Yourself Up — Jenny Brown. A clear introduction to Bowen Theory and how growing in self-awareness improves all of your relationships.

    True to You — Kathleen Smith. A practical guide to staying grounded and true to yourself in the middle of relationship stress.

  • The Dance of Anger — Harriet Lerner. Explores how anger functions in relationships and how to use it as a tool for honest, lasting change.

    It Didn't Start With You — Mark Wolynn. Examines how inherited family trauma shapes our lives and how to begin breaking the cycle.

  • Extraordinary Relationships — Roberta Gilbert. An accessible guide to Bowen Theory and how it can improve your most important relationships.

    The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory — Roberta Gilbert. A deeper look at the theoretical framework behind family systems thinking.

    Family Evaluation — Murray Bowen. The foundational clinical text on Bowen Family Systems Theory for those who want to go deeper.

Marriage & Relationships

These books help couples understand patterns, improve communication, and build deeper connection.

  • Hold Me Tight — Sue Johnson. A research-based guide to understanding the emotional bonds that hold couples together and what to do when those bonds break down.

    The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman. Practical, research-backed tools for building a stronger, more connected marriage.

  • How We Love — Milan & Kay Yerkovich. Explores how your childhood attachment style shapes the way you give and receive love in marriage.

    Wired for Love — Stan Tatkin. A neuroscience-based approach to understanding your partner and building a more secure relationship.

    Love Sense — Sue Johnson. Explores the science of love and why emotional connection is the foundation of lasting relationships.

  • Getting the Love You Want — Harville Hendrix. A guide to understanding the unconscious patterns that drive our relationship choices and how to transform them.

    Love and War in Intimate Relationships — John Gottman. A deeper exploration of how couples navigate conflict and build lasting connection through understanding.

    Secrets of Sex and Marriage — Shaunti Feldhahn. Research-based insights into the emotional and relational dynamics that shape intimacy in marriage.

  • The Smart Stepfamily — Ron Deal. A practical, compassionate guide for navigating the unique challenges of blended family life.

  • Created for Connection — Sue Johnson & Kenneth Sanderfer. Applies the principles of emotionally focused therapy within a Christian framework.

Parenting

These books support you in understanding your child more deeply while also helping you stay grounded and intentional in your role as a parent.

  • Parenting from the Inside Out — Daniel Siegel & Mary Hartzell. Helps you understand how your own story shapes your parenting.

    The Whole-Brain Child — Daniel Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson. A practical, easy-to-understand guide to your child's brain and emotional development.

    No-Drama Discipline — Daniel Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson. Teaches how to respond to behavior with connection and clarity instead of reactivity.

    Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child — John Gottman. A foundational guide to helping children understand and regulate emotions.

    Parenting with Love and Logic — Foster Cline & Jim Fay. Encourages responsibility and natural consequences with empathy.

    How We Love Our Kids — Milan & Kay Yerkovich. Explores how your attachment style impacts your parenting.

    Beyond Behaviors — Mona Delahooke. A nervous-system-informed approach to understanding children's behavior.

    The Connected Child — Karyn Purvis. Especially helpful for adoptive or trauma-impacted children.

    The Connected Parent — Karyn Purvis. Supports parents in building connection and trust with their children.

    Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents — Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons. Helps families understand and navigate anxiety together.

    Doing Life with Your Adult Children — Jim Burns. Guidance for staying connected while allowing independence in adulthood.

    When Children Grieve — John James & Russell Friedman. Helps adults support children through grief and loss.

Spirituality

These books explore emotional and spiritual formation, helping you grow in awareness, connection, and depth.

  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality — Peter Scazzero. Integrates emotional health with spiritual maturity.

    The Deeply Formed Life — Rich Villodas. A guide to being shaped from the inside out through spiritual practices.

    The Gift of Being Yourself — David Benner. Explores identity through being known by God.

    Abba's Child — Brennan Manning. A powerful invitation to move from shame and performance into living as a deeply loved child of God.

    Care of Souls — David Benner. A deeper look at spiritual direction and inner transformation.

    The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry — John Mark Comer. Invites a slower, more intentional way of living.

    Practicing the Presence of God — Brother Lawrence. A classic on experiencing God in everyday life.

    The Rest of God — Mark Buchanan. A reflection on Sabbath and rest.

    The Voice of the Heart — Chip Dodd. Connects emotions with spiritual meaning and growth.

    The Needs of the Heart — Chip Dodd. Explores core emotional needs and their role in spiritual formation.

    The Deepest Place — Curt Thompson. A reflection on suffering, healing, and encountering God in pain.

Sexual Abuse

These books offer understanding and support for those healing from sexual abuse, helping make sense of what happened and how to move toward healing.

  • The Wounded Heart — Dan Allender. A compassionate, faith-informed guide for survivors of sexual abuse.

    Healing the Wounded Heart — Dan Allender. A workbook companion for processing and healing.

    Silently Seduced — Kenneth Adams. Explores covert sexual abuse and its long-term impact.

    The Sexual Healing Journey — Wendy Maltz. A practical guide for healing and reclaiming healthy sexuality.

Sexual Addiction

These books support understanding and healing from compulsive sexual behaviors and the deeper wounds beneath them.

  • Out of the Shadows — Patrick Carnes. A foundational book on understanding sexual addiction.

    Unwanted — Jay Stringer. Explores how unwanted sexual behaviors are connected to deeper personal stories.

    Surfing for God — Michael John Cusick. A faith-based perspective on desire, addiction, and healing.

    Sex, God, and Chaos — Kathy Nickerson. A roadmap for couples navigating betrayal, addiction, and healing together.

Grief & Loss

These books support you in understanding your child more deeply while also helping you stay grounded and intentional in your role as a parent.

  • A Grief Observed — C.S. Lewis. A deeply honest reflection on loss and faith.

    It's OK That You're Not OK — Megan Devine. A compassionate, validating approach to grief in a culture that often rushes healing.

    The Grief Recovery Handbook — John James & Russell Friedman. A more structured, step-by-step approach to processing grief.

    Lament for a Son — Nicholas Wolterstorff. A tender, faith-filled reflection on the loss of a child.

    A Grace Disguised — Jerry Sittser. Explores how loss can reshape and deepen the soul over time.

    A Brave Lament — Kayla Stoecklein. A personal and faith-centered journey through grief and lament.